five strategies to enhance your managerial communication skills

On communicating well: use these five strategies to enhance your managerial communication skills
Joelle Jay

One of the biggest challenges managers face is communication. And yet, communication is also one of the most critical aspects of leadership. Without good communication, managers can fail to gain commitment from employees, fail to achieve business goals and fail to develop rapport with the people on their team. In short, they can fail as leaders no matter how good their intentions may be.

Sound scary? It can be, especially for first-time managers. Front-line employees simply don't need the same level of communication skills as leaders do. But when employees rise to leadership positions, they must learn to connect with a greater number of people more effectively to get the job done.

Managers can enhance their communication skills with commitment and practice using a few key strategies that will help determine what, when and how to communicate effectively

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

Listening

The most effective leaders know when to stop talking and start listening. This is especially important in three particular situations: when emotions are high, in team situations and when employees are sharing ideas.

First, listening is crucial when emotions are high. Extreme emotions, such as anger, resentment and excitement, warrant attention from a personal and a business standpoint. On a personal level, people feel acknowledged when others validate their feelings. Managers who ignore feelings can create distance between themselves and their employees, eroding the relationship and ultimately affecting the working environment.

From a business perspective, emotions can also interfere with clear thinking. Allowing employees to address their emotions helps them move beyond the situation at hand in an effective way and get back to business. Managers can develop stronger relationships with their employees while enhancing productivity simply by listening to their employees when emotions are high.

The second most important time to listen is in team situations. Team environments can involve multiple personalities, complex dynamics and competing agendas. By listening carefully, managers can ensure that everyone is working toward the same goal. Listening also helps managers identify and address conflicts early, as well as facilitate healthy working relationships among team members.

Third, listening is vital when employees are sharing ideas. When managers stop listening to ideas, employees stop offering them. That means managers are essentially cut off from the creativity and expertise of the people on their team, and leadership becomes an illusion.

In these and almost any situation, the advantages of listening make it worth doing well. The basic fundamentals of good listening include the following:

* Attending closely to what's being said, not to what you want to say next.

* Allowing others to finish speaking before taking a turn.

* Repeating back what you've heard to give the speaker the opportunity to clarify the message.

With these fundamentals, managers can clearly communicate that they care about what the speaker is saying and want to help.

Facilitating

Facilitating communication is more than just listening, and it is more than leading a conversation. Good facilitation is a continuous cycle of three steps: hearing what is said, integrating it into the topic at hand and saying something to move the conversation forward.

For example, imagine a manager facilitating a meeting in which she and her team are developing goals for the coming year. The conversation might sound something like this:

Manager: As we develop our goals for next year, it's important that we hear from everyone in the department. What are your ideas?

Employee 1: I think it's important that we get productivity up. I notice we have a pretty relaxed pace around here, and it gets frustrating when some people are working hard and others seem to be contributing less than others.

Manager: OK, so we need improved productivity. What would that look like as a goal?

Employee 2: Actually, I think it's more a matter of setting a higher sales goal than improving productivity in the office. We don't just need to be busier; we need to get better results.

Manager: I see. So the idea is that we should set higher sales goals for everyone, which would consequently address the productivity issue. Is that right?

Employees: Yes.

Notice in this exchange that the manager took the time to repeat what she heard so that the employees could verify its accuracy. She also integrated each comment into the topic at hand--tying the first employee's frustration with productivity to the task (goal-setting), and connecting the second employee's point about sales to the topic on the table (productivity). Even though her employees were giving all of the input, the manager stayed focused on the task of preparing goals and led all comments in that direction.

Good facilitation is one of the ways managers become leaders. It requires garnering the input of everyone in a group while keeping them focused on the task at hand. It's especially useful when guiding a team toward a desired outcome--for instance, when developing a strategic plan, putting together a joint project or coordinating activities.

Questioning

Many leaders need information but aren't sure how to get it. Similarly, their employees may have information but don't know how to impart it. Managers can open the lines of communication by asking good questions. Note that different kinds of questions yield different kinds of results. Here is a short primer on questioning:

* Closed questions are those that elicit yes/no answers. These are beneficial when a manager simply needs to check the status of an issue. Has the report been completed? Do you know what to do? Can you get that to me by Friday? These are examples of closed questions that are perfectly appropriate in the right situations.

* Open questions are those that elicit longer responses. They are useful almost anytime a manager wants more than a yes/no answer--for instance, when seeking input from others, looking for information about a particular topic or exploring a problem. What do you think would be the best way to go about this? How are you doing on that project? What went wrong? These kinds of questions give others the chance to give all of the information they have and to avoid the innumerable consequences that can come when leaders make assumptions without becoming well-informed.

* Personal questions have a special role in leadership. Inappropriate personal questions can alienate employees. Asking direct reports if they are dating anyone or why they haven't bought a house can be perceived as prying, even if the questions are well intended. Appropriate personal questions, however, can create a sense of camaraderie between employee and boss.

Asking whether employees had a nice weekend, inquiring about their families or following up on common interests all help people connect on a personal level. That relationship leads to a greater commitment as well as a more pleasant environment.

Using Discretion

Knowing when not to speak as a leader is just as important as speaking. Managers must understand that the moment they don a new title, they become a leader--one whom others look to for guidance, direction and even protection. Good leaders adopt a policy of discretion, if not confidentiality, with their employees. Only then can they develop the trust that is so vital to productivity.

Confidential situations may arise in a number of areas, personal and professional. Here are some topics that may warrant discretion:

* An employee is having a direct conflict with another employee.

* An employee is concerned about another employee's conduct.

* An employee's performance has dropped substantially.

* An employee has a health issue or personal problem.

* An employee wants genuine advice on how to excel but doesn't want to be seen as cozying up to the boss.

In any of these cases, the employee is facing circumstances that affect him personally and could affect business if not addressed effectively. A manager who invites a confidential conversation could help the employee discuss the situation openly and develop strategies to handle it well. But a manager whose trustworthiness is questionable will undoubtedly scare away any hope for a candid discussion. The consequences could have a bearing on the employee's ability to perform at his best.

How do managers communicate that they can be trusted? One approach is to tell employees directly that you are always available for private conversations when needed. Managers who do this further assure employees who come to them that the conversation will be kept confidential. Then managers keep that promise. In the end, actions speak louder than words. When managers talk behind their employees' backs, gossip or show favoritism of any kind, employees doubt their discretion and opt to keep their thoughts to themselves. The lines of communication shut down, to the potential detriment of the team.

Directing

Notice that directing comes last on the list of communication strategies. It may not be the least important, but it is definitely one to use less often. Many managers direct their employees because they believe it's the only way to get things done. It is not. The other forms of communication discussed above--listening, facilitating, questioning, using discretion--can all get employees working more productively in a spirit of cooperation and in a more friendly environment than directing.

But directing has its place. Directing means giving directions clearly and unequivocally, such that people know exactly what to do and when. It is best used in times of confusion, or when efficiency is the most important goal. Although it can be effective, directing also can lead to complacency on the part of employees who may adopt an "I just do what they tell me" attitude. Use it sparingly.

Benefits to Communication

Communication takes effort. But it is effort well spent given the benefits--a more pleasant, more productive work setting in which everyone feels valued, ideas are shared openly, and relationships are characterized by trust.

One last tip: When you practice good communication, notice the effect. The results that come from communicating wisely will be the proof that communication really is the key to good management.

JOELLE JAY, PH.D., IS THE OWNER AND PRESIDENT OF PILLAR CONSULTING LLC, A LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT FIRM IN RENO, NEV., SPECIALIZING IN LEADERSHIP AND PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS. SHE COACHES BUSINESS LEADERS AND EXECUTIVES IN ACHIEVING SUCCESS WHILE MAINTAINING A HEALTHY LIFE BALANCE. SHE CAN BE REACHED AT JOELLE@PILLAR-CONSULTING.COM.

COPYRIGHT 2005 Society for Human Resource Management
COPYRIGHT 2005 Gale Group

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TurboCoach

Chapter 8
Eleven Keys to Increasing Your Productivity


"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon."
SUSAN ERTZ

Have you examined the way you organize your time to achieve the best results? O YES O NO

Have you examined the way you approach your work to achieve the best results? O YES O NO

This chapter examines eleven steps you can take to increase your productivity and improve the way you use your time. The Application Exercise at the end of the chapter will help you focus on a critical personal or professional goal and tailor your activities to achieve it as quickly as possible.

PERSONAL PRODUCTIVITY IS A KEY DIFFERENTIATOR between people who succeed in their chosen fields and those who do not. Individuals at the top of their game have learned how to achieve more and better results in less time than most people. Increasing your productivity is a critical step in achieving your personal and professional goals and creating the success you envision for yourself. To achieve a high level of productivity, focus on the following eleven key areas.

1. Develop clear goals and write them down. Because higher productivity begins with clear goals, goal setting is a key component of our coaching program. As you know, a goal must be specific and measurable to be effective in guiding your behavior. It must reflect your beliefs and be within your power to achieve. The goal and your values must align. Finally, the goal must be time limited. And, to make it real and concrete, it must be written down. The clearer and more concrete you make your goals, the more likely you are to accomplish them in a shorter period of time.

2. Write a clear action plan. Next, if you want to turbocharge your productivity, make sure you have a clear, written plan of action. Every minute you spend in careful planning will save you as many as ten minutes in execution.

Create a list of every step or task necessary to achieve your goal. Every morning, write down the tasks you need to complete before the day is over. Always work from a list. Think on paper. This will keep you on track and give you a visual record of accomplishment. You will see extraordinary results as soon as you follow this simple step: The very act of writing out a list and referring to it constantly will increase your productivity by 25 percent or more.

3. Set your priorities. The third step is to prioritize your list. Analyze your list before you take action. Identify and start with the high-value tasks on your list. "High value" is identified by the potential consequences attached to doing or failing to do a task. High-value tasks have significant consequences; low-value tasks have few or no consequences at all.

4. Concentrate and eliminate distractions. In this step, choose a high-value activity or task, start on it immediately, and stay with it until it is done. Focusing single-minded attention on one task allows you to complete it far more quickly than starting and stopping. When you apply this concentrated attention on a major task, you can reduce the amount of time spent on it by as much as 80 percent.

5. Lengthen your workday but increase your time off. By starting your workday a little earlier, working through lunchtime, and staying a little later, you can become one of the most productive people in your field. The early start and late finish to your workday will allow you to beat the traffic both coming into and going home from work. This can add two or three hours to your productive working day without really affecting your lifestyle. You will derive enormous benefits from these extra hours, which make a relatively small change to your overall schedule.

Simultaneously, be vigilant about scheduling regular time off, perhaps starting with weekends. Once you have integrated this practice into your routine, start planning other short vacation breaks of two or three days. Work up to longer vacations. When you are away from work, clear your mind completely of job concerns and engage fully with the other parts of your life. This will clear your mind and restore your energy. You will be amazed at the dramatic increase in productivity you will experience when you are back at work.

6. Work harder at what you do. When you are at work, concentrate on work all the time you are there. Don't squander your time or fall into the habit of treating the workplace as a community or educational environment, where socializing is an accepted element of the mix. Rather, at the office, put your head down and work full blast as long as you are there. Many people who have followed this simple rule have doubled their productivity and reached their goals faster than they thought possible.

7. Pick up the pace. At work, develop a sense of urgency and maintain a quicker tempo in all your activities. Get on with the job. Dedicate yourself to moving quickly from task to task. You'll get substantially more done just by deciding to pick up the pace in everything you do.

8. Work smarter. Focus on the value of the tasks you complete. While the number of hours you put in is important, what matters most is the quality and quantity of results you achieve. Again, the more time you spend on those higher-value tasks with greater potential consequences, the greater the results you will obtain from every hour you put in.

9. Align your work with your skills. Skill and experience count. You achieve more in less time when you work on tasks at which you are especially skilled and experienced. Always strive to become more effective at the most important things you do. Achieving consistent excellence at the most critical things you do is the fastest, most efficient route to achieving the goals you have set for yourself.

10. Bunch your tasks. Group similar activities and do them all at the same time. Making all your calls, completing all your estimates, or preparing all your presentation slides at the same time allows you to develop speed and skill at each activity. You simply get better at making each call, writing the next estimate, or designing the next slide. Cut your performance time by as much as 80 percent by doing several similar tasks in sequence.

11. Cut out steps. Pull several parts of the job together into a single task and eliminate several steps. Where you can, cut out lower-value activities completely.

Consider the example of Northwest Mutual Life Assurance Company. Several years ago, their system for approving new policies consisted of twenty-four steps conducted by twenty-four different people and, on average, lasted six weeks. Their position in the marketplace was being seriously threatened by companies with a faster approval time. The company consolidated twenty-three of the twenty-four steps into a single job for a single person, who checked every detail of the policy before sending it to a supervisor. In the second step, the supervisor simply checked the analysis of the first person and gave an approval or disapproval. Reducing twenty-four steps to two enabled the company to get the answer back to the field within twenty-four hours, almost always error-free. As a result of the speed of this new processing system, Northwestern Mutual was able to write many hundreds of millions of dollars of additional insurance every year.


The Race Is On

Make a game of it: Challenge your record daily to see how many high-value tasks you can complete each day. Set a schedule and a deadline for yourself and try to beat your deadline. See just how much more you can get done in less time.

Practice visualization to guide your performance. Envision yourself as an exceptionally productive person. For a moment, visualize those times in your life when you were at your peak of effectiveness and productivity. You were doing all the right things in the right way and accomplishing a lot in a short period of time. You felt strong and confident about your performance. You felt stimulated, exhilarated, and in that magical state of "flow" that most people experience all too infrequently.

Imagine yourself five years from now as one of the most productive and successful people in your field. What's in this picture? Visualize your appearance, the way you will be working, the projects you will be engaged in, and the principles that will guide your personal performance. How will your colleagues describe you and your way of working to others? Let these images guide your present performance.

With this vision firmly in your mind, answer the following questions:

* What are the additional knowledge and skills I need to acquire to dramatically increase my productivity and perform at my best?

* What are the habits and behaviors that will be most helpful for me to acquire to increase my productivity, results orientation, focus, concentration, discipline, and persistence? Will other traits become increasingly important?

Look for ways to increase your productivity every day. The payoff will be phenomenal.


Application Exercise

1. What are your ten most important goals?

2. Carefully review your ten most important goals. Select one that, if achieved immediately, would have the strongest positive impact on your life. This is your Major Definite Purpose at this time of your life.

3. What is the deadline for achieving your Major Definite Purpose?

4. What obstacles prevent you from achieving your Major Definite Purpose?

5. What additional knowledge, skills, or qualities will you need to achieve your Major Definite Purpose? What steps will you take to obtain this knowledge or develop these skills and qualities?

6. Whose help and cooperation do you need to achieve your Major Definite Purpose?

7. What actions do you commit to take immediately as a result of insights gained in this chapter?

"No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently."
AGNES DE MILLE

Want to Innovate? Create a Problem

By Ted Santos and Deborah Brown

What exactly is innovation? Is it the result of long, arduous trials and errors? Or is it a practice that can be broken down into parts and learned? More importantly, does your company know how to effectively position its innovations and differentiation in the marketplace in order to drive sales and increase market share?

Rocking the Boat

Good managers solve problems, but great leaders create problems and then empower others in their organization to solve them. Creating problems leads directly to innovation.

Of course, deliberately creating problems is counterintuitive; we’re wired to avoid problems. Culturally we’re trained to get rid of problems. Businesses are structured to reward managers for their problem-solving skills. However, the keys to the executive suite are not available to managers who only solve problems. Does your organization have structures in place to reward people who create problems? What could happen when you don’t have those structures?

More than a century ago, Henry Ford built an innovative company to solve a problem he created: make it possible for every American household to own an affordable automobile. He solved the problem by creating the assembly line. The people of Ford Motor Company changed the world. But, the company didn’t look ahead, didn’t pose new problems, didn’t continue innovating. When GM introduced style and color in its cars, Ford lost market share to this new innovator.

In 1979, Sony brilliantly created the personal audio market with the Walkman. The company created a problem: develop a device that will allow individuals to listen to music privately, anywhere, anytime. Today, however, Apple dominates the digital personal audio market with a 78% market share in the U.S.

Signs that Your Company Lacks an Innovative Culture:
Your CEO spends more than 10% of his or her time solving problems. Top leadership needs to challenge the CEO to create a problem or take it upon itself to bring a challenge to him or her.
Your company is content with the status quo. Being content leaves you vulnerable to competitors who can disrupt your business model. Without risk, innovation becomes happenstance.
Your company’s top line is growing while your bottom line is shrinking. Your products or services have become a commodity. There is nothing to differentiate you from your competitors. This is an ideal time to create a problem for your organization.
Employees are afraid of failure. A learning and innovative culture embraces failure; a project that fails can still be valuable to the company’s larger goals. Employees should be encouraged to create problems themselves.
Management is disconnected from employees in terms of innovative ideas and moving the company forward. Often, companies make the mistake of going it alone—relying solely on management and/or research and development to come up with innovative and creative ideas, instead of engaging the brainpower of employees throughout the organization.

How to Create an Innovative Culture
Lay out the problem clearly, with a definite objective.
Make sure people have the tools they need to solve the problem you or your CEO created.
Get out of the employees’ way as they solve it. Empower them to innovate.

Jack Welch, when taking over as General Electric’s CEO, declared that every division must rank number 1 or number 2 in its industry—or be sold. Welch dared to imagine a future dramatically different from the past. This was'nt just a “cut costs by 3%” memo; this was a whole new vision, which could only be fulfilled by committed people with a new perspective on their business units and the possibilities.

What must happen to ensure buy-in for a vision that appears to be a problem? Organizations must design a culture that embraces a new mindset toward problems. Welch’s problem gave people in the corporation a greater purpose. He didn’t demand that people work harder and do better. He gave them an objective which didn’t require him to micro manage. Individuals were responsible for creating goals for which they could claim ownership.

When a leader declares a future that doesn’t exist, it’s inherently a problem. It breaks from the past; it may demand new skills and competencies. When the leader stands for something bigger than the problem, however, that stand becomes the value system of the organization. The value system inspires and motivates people to innovate. When people are empowered to be innovative, their commitment increases; they have a chance to take new actions and be proud of their accomplishments. Indeed, when people are allowed to create problems themselves, cost efficiencies, new products, and new services are created.

Strategically Position Your Company

Once you have created a truly innovative culture it’s important that you, as a leader, facilitate a communication structure and strategically position your company as an innovator in the marketplace. You’ve heard the old saying, “If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, did it make a sound?” The same is true for companies: if your company is highly innovative, but prospects and customers don’t know it, do your innovations really exist?

It’s critical that companies understand how to position or reposition themselves in their industry. This involves developing a positioning statement that clearly differentiates your company from competitors, underscores your company’s strengths and explains how your company and its products/services provide a solution to a problem. A positioning statement is not a tag line; it’s a sentence or two that establishes your leadership position in your industry. It also provides direction for the company and keeps everyone focused on a common goal. And, it’s important that it rings true with all constituents. It should be articulated by everyone in the company, from the CEO to the receptionist.

Risk and Reward

You can’t have reward without risk. And nothing holds greater risks—and potential rewards—than creating problems in order to create the new products and markets that will transform your company into a recognized leader in its field.

One risk you can’t afford to take is being complacent and accepting the status quo—that’s perhaps the riskiest course of all.

Sources:
www.sony.net/SonyInfo/News/Press_Archive/199907/99-059/
www.itworld.com/Tech/5051/060420appleipod/
www.pbs.org/wgbh/aso/databank/entries/dt13as.html


About the Authors:

Ted Santos is CEO of Turnaround Investment Partners, a New York-based firm that specializes in helping organizations identify and exploit new opportunities. You can contact him at tsantos@turnaroundip.com.

Deborah Brown is a partner and senior director at Peppercom, a strategic communications firm in New York, San Francisco, Chicago, and London that specializes in positioning and repositioning corporations. You can contact her at dbrown@peppercom.com.

"Go out into the world today and love the people you meet. Let your presence light new light in the hearts of people." - Mother Teresa

EIGHT ESSENTIAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS
By Andrea Nierenberg


Armed with these essential communication skills, you'll be able to keep your network alive and growing. The best communicators know how to:
Smile
Look the person in the eye
Listen
Remember names
Be aware of body language
Be respectful of other people's boundaries
Look for common interests
Give genuine complements

1. Smile.
A smile is the first step in building rapport. Remember to smile when you enter a room, a business meeting, and even when you answer the phone. I give people mirrors with the phrase printed on the case, "Can your smile be heard?" I tell them to put the mirror on their desk when they are talking on the phone in order to see their expression. And, yes, a smile can be heard. Remember also, when you're talking with someone face to face, they become the mirror that reflects your expression. Your expression is the most important thing you wear. Smiling can raise your spirits and can even affect the way you sound. A smile can also disarm another. Use this powerful communication tool to your advantage.

2. Look the person in the eye.
Making good eye contact shows respect and interest. Have you ever been speaking with a person who was looking over your shoulder instead of at you? Did you feel like, "he doesn't think I'm important," or, "he's not even listening to me?"

Once at a trade show, I was talking to a man who spent the whole five minutes of a conversation that he had initiated looking everywhere except at me. In fact, at one point, he saw someone he obviously wanted to speak with and in mid-sentence, he turned around and began speaking with the other person as if I had evaporated into thin air.

Eye contact is one of the strongest communication skills we can develop. It's been said, and I believe it's true, "the eyes are the windows of the soul."

3. Listen with care.
One of the greatest compliments you can give another is to let him or her know you are listening to everything that is said. Find the hidden word in LISTEN using all the letters. The word is SILENT. That is what our internal voice must be to get the full impact of what others are saying. Remember that when you are networking with a new contact, it is like reading the paper. Let the person tell you the story so you can discover the "news you can use." More people have literally talked themselves out of a job or a sale by talking instead of sitting back and actively listening. It takes real concentration to listen.

4. Remember names.
Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People says, "...a person's name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language..."

It pays to remember names. Here are three ways to sharpen your name memory skills.
Form an impression of the person's appearance and embed it into your mind. Note height, stature, color of hair and eyes, facial expression, and any distinguishing physical features. Do not concentrate so much on dress, or even hairstyle. These may be different the next time you meet.
Repeat the person's name after you meet and several times during the conversation. When you repeat their name two things happen-they are flattered and the name goes into your memory bank.
Make up a visual story about the person's name. Associate the person's name with something that will remind you of it. Use your imagination; build a mind picture; put the person into your visual story. The sillier the story, the easier it will be to remember. Here is an example of how to remember my name with a visual story.

My name is Andrea Nierenberg. Picture me in the Antarctic, dressed in white fur, clinging to the bow of a sinking ship, the "Andrea Doria" (Andrea) which is "near an iceberg" (Nier-en-berg). There you have a picture of me and my name, Andrea Nierenberg. Remember, the sillier the visual story, the easier it is to remember.

5. Be aware of your body language.
"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

You can say a lot without ever opening your mouth. Research tells us perceptions are formed in three ways: Verbal makes up 7 percent, Non-verbal 38 percent, and Visual is 55 percent of our perception of others. Notice that body language makes up the biggest percentage. Make sure your body language communicates what you truly want to say.
B-Breathe deeply and consistently. This steadies your nerves and gives you a pleasant facial expression that says, "I'm glad to be speaking with you."
O-Overtures can speak volumes. Nod to show encouragement and to show you are listening. Keep an open posture to show you are receptive.
D-Demeanor is the part of your personality demonstrated by body language. A blank stare, crossed arms, nervous gestures, all convey the opposite of what you want to communicate.
Y-"You" meaning the other person should be your main focus. Observe patterns of others and find a way to match styles to ease the interaction. For example, if you are sitting across the table from a person who is leaning in to create a closer connection, follow suit. Do not lean back; this says, "I'm not interested."

6. Be respectful of other people's boundaries.
The invisible boundaries around us define our personal space. It varies from culture to culture. Most Americans become uncomfortable if someone is closer than 18 inches. In some countries, standing as close as we do in the United States is considered too far apart. In other places, it is too close. People's boundaries are not only an issue for travelers. America is a melting pot so you need to be aware of the diversity within our own country.

7. Look for common interests.
Ask open-ended questions and then listen to what others have to say. Develop your list of "get to know you questions" so that they are easy and automatic. Make sure they are phrased so they that cannot be answered with just one word. Or, at least have a follow up question ready. Some people you meet-you probably know the type-will take your questions quite literally. "Did you enjoy the speaker?" you ask, hoping to start a conversation. "Yes" is the answer you get, followed by silence. So, change your question to, "How did you find the speaker's presentation?" You may still get, "Fine." But then you can follow up with, "What did you particularly like about it?"

Once you establish your common interests, the conversation will flow, and you will easily find reasons to follow up and keep in touch.

8. Give genuine compliments.
When you listen to someone carefully, often they will mention something which they are proud of. Think for a moment and find a way to acknowledge the person's achievement. Make a goal of finding at least one positive trait or characteristic in each person you meet that you can compliment. It may seem awkward at first, but soon it will become second nature.

As a general rule, most of us do not give out compliments as often as they might be deserved. We worry that we will come across as phony, or as if we are doing it because we want something. This is why it is so critical to be sincere and to give a compliment only when you mean it.

Andrea Nierenberg, "a networking success story" (The Wall Street Journal), is the author of Nonstop Networking: How to Improve Your Life, Luck and Career. Ms. Nierenberg works with leading companies to improve interpersonal communications for management and staff. She offers keynote addresses and custom-designed programs on motivational techniques, networking tactics, and presentation skills.