Conference Highlights
During our Q&A time with Marshall Goldsmith at our July audio conference, several questions were asked regarding the difficulty of change.
Q. "How do you know if a person really wants to change as compared to going through the motions?"
Marshall Goldsmith: That's a great question. Obviously, I need to learn this because if they don't change, I don't get paid. So, needless to say, after 30 years, I've kind of become sensitized.
Let me give you a few guidelines on how to answer that. If the person is willing to get out there and apologize for his sins, if they're willing to talk to people in a sincere way, follow-up, stick with the plan and get re-measured, guess what? They're probably serious, because if they're not serious, you're going to look like a complete idiot.
If they're not willing to do this stuff, it's pretty simple. You know what? I don't work with them. I don't judge people or critique people. I just say, "Look, here's the way I work. Everybody I work with is going to have to apologize, get feedback, follow-up, do all that stuff I talked about." And if they don't want to do it, nobody made me God. I'm certainly not there to judge people. I just sit there and say, "I'm sorry, I'm not going to work with you." So, I'm going to help you as a coach. Turn down bad business. And, by the way, really, if you just feel your gut, you're not an idiot. Look in their eyes. If somebody's playing games with you, it doesn't take that long to figure it out.
Q. How can I ask for feedforward from anyone when I'm fearful that I will be unable to commit to making the change to improve?
Marshall Goldsmith: Excellent question. Be totally up front. And I would say, "I cannot promise to change everything. In fact, I'm going to say I definitely won't be able to change everything. I'm just going to ask for ideas, listen to these ideas, do what I can."
Let's put this in perspective. Not only do your co-workers not expect you to change everything, they don't expect you to change anything. If you get better at anything that's even vaguely important, they're probably going to be ecstatic. And if you look at the research that we've done, that's pretty hard to argue with 86,000 respondents. What happens when people do this stuff? They get better. Not as judged by themselves, their co-workers.
Don't worry about getting better at everything. In fact, tell people up front, be honest, "I can't change everything. I'm going to change something." Just do that. Let's let go of perfection. Take a deep breath. You know, I used to try to help people get perfect. Let's all get over being perfect. Let's just go for better. Better is fine.
During our Q&A time with Marshall Goldsmith at our July audio conference, several questions were asked regarding the difficulty of change.
Q. "How do you know if a person really wants to change as compared to going through the motions?"
Marshall Goldsmith: That's a great question. Obviously, I need to learn this because if they don't change, I don't get paid. So, needless to say, after 30 years, I've kind of become sensitized.
Let me give you a few guidelines on how to answer that. If the person is willing to get out there and apologize for his sins, if they're willing to talk to people in a sincere way, follow-up, stick with the plan and get re-measured, guess what? They're probably serious, because if they're not serious, you're going to look like a complete idiot.
If they're not willing to do this stuff, it's pretty simple. You know what? I don't work with them. I don't judge people or critique people. I just say, "Look, here's the way I work. Everybody I work with is going to have to apologize, get feedback, follow-up, do all that stuff I talked about." And if they don't want to do it, nobody made me God. I'm certainly not there to judge people. I just sit there and say, "I'm sorry, I'm not going to work with you." So, I'm going to help you as a coach. Turn down bad business. And, by the way, really, if you just feel your gut, you're not an idiot. Look in their eyes. If somebody's playing games with you, it doesn't take that long to figure it out.
Q. How can I ask for feedforward from anyone when I'm fearful that I will be unable to commit to making the change to improve?
Marshall Goldsmith: Excellent question. Be totally up front. And I would say, "I cannot promise to change everything. In fact, I'm going to say I definitely won't be able to change everything. I'm just going to ask for ideas, listen to these ideas, do what I can."
Let's put this in perspective. Not only do your co-workers not expect you to change everything, they don't expect you to change anything. If you get better at anything that's even vaguely important, they're probably going to be ecstatic. And if you look at the research that we've done, that's pretty hard to argue with 86,000 respondents. What happens when people do this stuff? They get better. Not as judged by themselves, their co-workers.
Don't worry about getting better at everything. In fact, tell people up front, be honest, "I can't change everything. I'm going to change something." Just do that. Let's let go of perfection. Take a deep breath. You know, I used to try to help people get perfect. Let's all get over being perfect. Let's just go for better. Better is fine.
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3:35 AM
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